The WD-40 Avenger

I know Japan is incredibly technologically advanced, and has awesome electronics and gadgets, but I seriously doubt they have ever heard of WD-40.

Every single bike over here has THE SQUEAKIEST brakes I've ever heard. You hear one approaching behind you, or even see it coming down the street towards you. You politely move aside to let them pass. Then they gently nudge the brakes so they don't ride by you too fast.

And the ear-drum-busting squeal pierces your soul and shatters it into a million tiny pieces.

Maybe it's my delicate American eardrums. But it's not just the bicycles, oh nay nay. It's the cars, and mopeds, and scooters, and the (*&#*&@_#(*^%^(@&* buses. Ooooooh the buses.... They are the WORST.

I think I might have to create a secret identity and lead a double life. By day, I shall be Mere, English teacher extraordinaire. But come nightfall, I shall be....

The WD-40 Avenger!

(Yes, I know I've thought about this way too much, but I do have 17 minutes of walking from the subway station to my house, and my mind wanders.)

Please imagine, if you will, a small figure quickly yet silently moving down the side streets and alleys, deftly spraying WD-40 onto all the bikes, scooters, buses (shit, just every single brake) in Minatogawakoen. The world (at least my corner) would be a quieter, better, and squeak-free place for the children to play without fear of busted eardrums.

And I would wear a cape (of course).